Some of my favorite quotes.

I've been collecting quotes for awhile and these are the ones I especially like for their logic, humor, and the message they convey in such a short space. If you don't get it, you are not thinking. If you don't like it you might be too ideological, (or maybe I am for liking it). If you want to debate it, you are probably more political than I am (and I am pretty political). If you don't like quotes, you are not open minded. In any case, leave your thoughts...I like to know what and how other people think.

"Buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of the car."

- Anonymous

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

- Milton Berle

"A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members."

- Mahatma Ghandi

"Love a Democrat. Because who ever heard of a good piece of elephant?"

- Unknown

“We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.”

- Anais Nin

“Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can’t be taken on its own merits.”

- Dan Barker

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

- Douglas Adams

“The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract.”

- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

“The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.”

- Ellen DeGeneres

"Banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies."

-Thomas Jefferson

“Ask a deeply religious Christian if he'd rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don't seem so bad lately.”

- Scott Adams (1957 - ), The Dilbert Blog: Atheists: The New Gays, 11-19-06

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)

ONE RED CENT

1. Our US government is willing to spend untold US wealth in Iraq and Afghanistan and Pakistan but not "one red cent" on healthcare reform here. Is the health and economic security of US citizens less important than those citizens of these foreign countries?

2. Our US government is willing to spend almost a trillion dollars to bailout Wall Street companies who have created a near second Great Depression by their greed and carelessness, but we aren't willing to spend "one red cent" on healthcare reform for the health and economic security of US citizens. Are our citizens less important than Wall Street?

3. Our US government is willing to spend billions of dollars on a stimulus bill to keep jobs like police, teachers, firemen, but not "one red cent" on healthcare reform for the health and economic security of US citizens who are being thrown out of their homes at an alarming rate because of the economy and because of rising health care costs from the health care insurance companies. Are the rest of the US citizenry less important than public employees and the Congress?

What will the reaction be when "we the people" find out that not "one red cent" is designated to be used toward health care reform for the health and economic security of US citizens when we are the source of those taxes that bailed out Wall Street, that funds the military actions and wars on foreign soil, that funds our 50 states to keep the public employees working, and the source of funds that pay the salaries of our President, the Congress, and the myriad agencies in Washington DC?

"We the people" elected you to work for us and in the interests of our citizens. Why are we so unworthy of "one red cent"?

Poems in honour of Wolfman and Dracula

Halloween is one of my favorite times of year! Besides Halloween being within 2 days of my birthday, the weather is turning cooler, the holidays are just around the corner (and that means good food and time off from work), and on October 31st kids of any age can dress up as monsters and beg for candy. Tons O' fun on Fright Night. Two staple characters of this scary day are the Wolfman and Dracula. There are so many stories and movies about both characters. I'm printing two poems about these characters, one from an old movie recited by an old gypsy woman who is scarier than the Wolfman, and one funny one about Dracula.

– from The Wolf Man (1941 movie)
Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is bright.


"Hello, My Name is Dracula" –by Douglas Florian
Hello, my name is Dracula.
My clothing is all blackula.
I drive a Cadillacula.
I am a maniacula.
I drink blood for a snackula.
Your neck I will attackula
With teeth sharp as a tackula.
At dawn I hit the sackula.
Tomorrow I’ll be backula!

Have a great Halloween!!

DON’T GROW OLD, AGE GRACEFULLY!

My mother-in-law (who lived to be over 100 years old) chanted a rhyme to me one day and I laughed my butt off. She said, “The golden years have come at last, the golden years can kiss my ass.” Turns out it is the last two lines of a poem, author unknown by me…

The Golden Years

I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw

Oh My God What can I do

My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell!
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body's drooping
Have trouble pooping
The Golden Years has come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass.

Unfortunately we all are growing older nano second by nano second. The best we can do is to take care of mind and body so the Golden Years won’t be tarnished by illness and a poor attitude. Laughter IS the best medicine. Who gives a shit about laugh lines around your eyes as long as they twinkle with mirth? It’s hard to be angry or depressed when you have just heard a great joke. If you can maintain your sense of humor, find pleasure in everyday minutia, escape routine, read a book, write a blog, walk around the block, talk to someone older than you are, you can keep your mind young and your attitude positive. There is nothing you can do about the aging of your body. Keep it moving. And don’t look in the mirror with dread. There is beauty in all stages of life. Buy some rose colored glasses!

Mickey Mantle once said, "If I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself." Put this on your refrigerator. Maintaining good health is most important. It’s the first thing you should think about when you wake and the last thing you remember before you sleep. Good health can affect your mood, your relationships, and your pocketbook. If you want to work, travel, play with your grandchildren, you need to be healthy. Life doesn’t come with a manual, but look around, there are lessons for living a rewarding life everywhere. And don’t forget the sunscreen.

The Squeaky Wheel and the “L” word

Idiom: “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” - means that if you bitch loud enough, you'll eventually get your way.

From “astro turf” demonstrations at town hall meetings to shouting “You lie” during President Obama's health care address to a joint session of Congress, it seems that the very “squeaky Republican wheels” are getting greased. Their efforts to derail health care reform are having a definite effect on the electorate. The Conservatives resort to distortions and outright lies. They yell, threaten, and wave tea bags. Their rhetoric resonates with the elderly, the poor, and uneducated. Unfortunately, because this health care reform debate is so emotionally charged, a lot of people are succumbing to scripted fear tactics. Every day at my office, I hear the “death panel”, “rationing”, “government run health care” arguments, exactly as the right-wingers on TV present them. And every day Sara Palin, Betsy McCaughey, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, et al, come up with more fuel for the fire. It works! They get to keep their jobs, increase their ratings, and foment further uncertainty at the same time. There is nothing logical in their rants. It’s akin to yelling fire in a crowded theatre.

I am a “Centrist Liberal” and prefer to hear discussed, without distortion or bias, the most important piece of legislation in our lifetime. But if a minority of Senators can filibuster, and because the law requires a 60 percent senatorial majority vote to override, then the minority rules if there aren't the 60 votes. How distorted is this? 40 percent of the senate can control what becomes law and what doesn't.

The “L” word (Liberal) no longer has the hippie, tree-hugger stigma attached. Now Neo-Cons and all that connotes has become the undesired label associated with the Bush administration and its disastrous tenure. I like the following description of Liberal and I'm proud to say I'm a Liberal.

…But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." – John F. Kennedy

My Two Lists…

“Some of the things that make me feel sad” list.

Pine trees, frightened children, hurt animals, winter, sunset, really old people, nursing homes, empty fruit stands, unrequited love, neglected historic buildings, things made in the 1950s and 1960s, some Country songs, cemeteries, rusted out pickups, partisan politics, funeral homes, grumpy people, knowing I won’t live long enough to visit Venus…


“A few of the things that make me feel happy” list.

My son, my grandchildren, having a caring and funny partner, knowing I have a project to do, friends, spring, fresh cantaloupe, John Butler Trio, Benny Hill theme ringtone, email and Facebook, sunrise, fresh coffee, my recliner, a new scifi book to read, comfortable shoes that are cool looking too, my Chihuahua, fascinating conversations, travel, mountains, New York City, a great deli sandwich, sitting on my porch when it rains, the way a freesia flower smells, hummingbirds, clowns, unicorns, all things banana, Brit Coms and BBC, a good night’s sleep, recycling, taking a long hot bath…

unTRUTHful and ilLOGICal…

I am distressed about the state of Truth and Logic in America.

Definitions first:

truth - noun
the true or actual state of a matter, a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, principle, or the like, honesty; integrity; truthfulness.

log⋅ic - noun
the science that investigates the principles governing correct or reliable inference, reason or sound judgment, as in utterances or actions.

I’m not sure when lying to accomplish a goal became OK. End justifies the means? The lies I see in videos of town hall meetings, speeches, writings, lectures, books, on the internet, etc. are getting larger and more bizarre. And fact checking is non-existent to refute these lies. Who are the fact checkers? History has been disregarded and historical figures misquoted to legitimize conclusions. There is no logic applied when formulating opinions. Who can we believe? What is the motivation? Power, money, legacy? Is America becoming tone deaf or going insane? Were we always this divided and willing to give our allegiance to a political party before allegiance to our country? Does this nation exist mainly to serve its “business oligarchs” with their legions of lobbyists? "We the people” have less and less influence over our country. Oh, we can vote, but now our votes are either bought or stolen. Ideological enclaves have sprouted up in various regions of the country and are sustained by cultural, societal, and familial bonds that stifle independence of thought. We have become slaves to the left or to the right. I am bewildered by it all. Should I believe what I have researched? Are the sources accurate? What proof do we have that anything is truthful or logical? One man’s truth and logic is anothers proof of fraud. My head aches each day from being assaulted by truthful/untruthful and logical/illogical theories hurled at me by the media. I think I’ll go live in a cave till someone sorts it out.

A Milestone…

This month I’ll be celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary… and they said it wouldn’t last. It almost didn’t! But just about every marriage hits some major snag. Mostly we made it through the ‘I want a divorce’ scene with humor. I asked for a divorce and my partner said NO. I was being so angry and serious, and ‘NO’ broke me up.

It occurs to me that my partner usually wants to hold it together more than I do. There is a comfort zone in that for me. The knowledge that leaving IS an option and that I can leverage that option to my advantage allows me to be content in my marriage. I don’t have to keep score. I just remind myself that I can leave anytime I wish. Of course, after 25 years, I’d be hard pressed to find someone else who would humor me at my age and temperament, not that I’d want to do the marriage thing again, ever.

I love my partner. Being ‘in love’ is for those lucky enough to have found their soul mate. Not all of us are lucky enough to be married to our soul mates. Sometimes the knowledge that I am loved is enough. I have been loved and have loved several times in my life. They were intense, passionate relationships and might not have made good marriages. We don’t always get what we want, but we get what we need.

So my partner and I will take a day trip to New Orleans, eat breakfast at Café Du Monde, lunch at The Court of Two Sisters, and see if we can do a “disaster viewing trip” into the 9th Ward. (I have heard they are rebuilding some very expensive homes in the levee flood zone. How weird is that?) We will probably argue about something, but we will find pleasure at just being able to be in Post Katrina New Orleans together. If there is anything interesting to photograph, I’ll post pics after we return.

Narcissists and other psychos…

I have been reading about Narcissism or more precisely, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Esther Buzard Kiner describes the disorder this way. “An individual with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), displays many symptoms which can go unnoticed for quite some time. These symptoms include (but are not limited to): lacking in empathy; takes advantage of other people to achieve their goals; feels a heightened sense of importance; requires constant attention, admiration and praise; has unreasonable expectations of others and expects to be treated favorably at all times; has fantasies of success, power, wealth, or fame; exaggerates intelligence, talents, and achievements; and reacts to criticism with feelings of rage.” Who is Esther Buzard Kiner? She is the survivor of a 17 year marriage to a narcissist.

The DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition) uses this language for Narcissistic Personality Disorder: An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by early adulthood and present in various contexts.

Here is the DSM IV language for Paranoid Personality Disorder: A psychiatric diagnosis characterized by paranoia and a pervasive, long-standing suspiciousness and generalized mistrust of others.

Those with PPD are unlikely to form many close relationships and are typically perceived as cold and distant. They are quick to challenge the loyalty of friends and loved ones and tend to carry long grudges.

I don’t know which is more damaging to children, a narcissist or a paranoid personality in their world.

I have lived with both types, under one roof: a paranoid father and a narcissistic brother. My father was diagnosed with PPD in his late 40s when my mother tricked him into going to a psychiatrist. There was no real treatment for the condition then and my mother had to deal with my father’s last years as best she could. There were 3 children still living at home, my brother (the narcissist) and two sisters. My eldest brother and I had moved out of my parent’s home and were finishing up our college degrees.

If one personality disorder can cause another, I believe my father’s paranoia was a contributing factor in my brother’s narcissism. According to the Cleveland Clinic’s website, “…narcissism results from extremes in child rearing …narcissistic personality disorder might develop as the result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during childhood.” My brother’s very fragile self esteem was vulnerable to my father’s emotional unavailability, instability and rages.

My father is dead but my brother goes on. I have severed contact with him because I do not want to be treated badly when he has the need to feel superior. There is enough insanity in the world and I don’t want to have it festering on my doorstep. My two sisters were damaged by my father’s mental and physical cruelty, and later by my brother’s lack of empathy and unreasonable expectations. They endured until they were old enough to move away. I can still see the emotional scars they carry as adults. My brother continues to live at home with my mother. He will never leave.

More Pet Peeves

* Neighbors who leave their trash cans exactly in the spot where the trash pick-up people threw them until the next trash pick-up a week later.

* People who park their grocery carts in the middle of the aisle, while looking for an item, so the rest of us can’t get around them.

* Drivers who hug my bumper.

* Elvis Presley fans.

* Computer hackers that slow down My Facebook and My Blog.

* Changes in TV programming without notice. PBS does this a lot.

* Loud annoying conversations from another table in a quiet restaurant.

* McDonalds running out of Fruit & Yogurt Parfait, in the morning.

* Inaccurate weather forecasts.

* “One to a customer” ads.

That should do it for awhile.

Pet Peeves

• Cat owners who tell me “cats weren’t meant to be on leash”. (So, maybe they were meant to roam all night long and get run over by a car or shot when the cat “sprays” the next-door neighbor’s front door, or craps in their fenced-in backyard?) This is really a PET peeve, pun intended.

• Commercials for new medicines, especially Viagra, Cialis and Levitra for erectile dysfunction. It’s no wonder Pharma doesn’t want REAL health care reform. It might cut out the tsunami of profits they make off a man’s vanity.

• People who never ask my POV and just assume I agree with theirs.

• Gifts that I’ll never use.

• Airlines that lose my luggage or make me miss my connection and offer no solution or remuneration. ~ Plug for TACA Airlines here: TACA lost my luggage on a trip to El Salvador, found it after 3 days, and paid me $75 for my trouble. On my return trip, they upgraded me to First Class. I’ll fly them again, but I’ll carry at least one change of clothes in my carry-on bag.

• Frivolous lawsuits. There should be a clearinghouse for all litigation with a “stress test” to see if it is meritorious. But that wouldn’t make it past the lobbyists for the American Bar Association. Must have lots of trials to make lots of money.

• Lobbyists

• People who don’t read and don’t want to. This is a recipe for mob rule.

• Crappy movies starring A-list actors. What a waste of time and talent. My time, their talent.

• Pop-ups, dancing/gyrating images in on-line ads on my home page, spam, chain e-mails, etc.

I have more. Later…

Old Friends...

You are in the 20 to 40 year old range, raising children, working, buying a home, a car, dealing with the myriad pressures of family and work life. Do you stay in touch with your friends? If you got a call from an old buddy needing to talk or needing help with moving a piece of furniture, would you be there?

I wish I had had the opportunity to stay in touch with more of my friends, but being a military brat did not allow for a lot of connection before the age of PCs and cell phones. Letter writing was all I had then since phone calls were too expensive. And if my friend’s dads were transferred before my letter reached them, I lost touch. One very special friend and I have managed to stay in touch for over 50 years even though for a decade or so we lost contact while we were getting married, setting up our homes, and nourishing our careers. We reestablished communication back in the 90s when my husband and I took a trip to Washington DC and I knew from my mom who had heard from her mom that she lived somewhere in the area. Since then she and I have had some great conversations by email, cell phone, and in person.

I did not know when she found out she had breast cancer so I could not be there for her. When I discovered I had breast cancer, I sent her an email asking about all the steps I should be aware of and the next day she was on the phone welcoming me to a club neither of us had wanted to join. I learned from her not to be afraid because breast cancer was no longer a death sentence. She was there for me by long distance and by email. I thank my dearest friend for her support and caring. We are still in touch even though we both still work and are still busy. But if she called me tomorrow, I’d be there….

There is always a song or a film that illustrates what I’m thinking and feeling and I dedicate the following Simon and Garfunkle song to my friend Mary.

Words & music by paul simon

Old friends,
Old friends
Sat on their park bench
Like bookends.
A newspaper blown though the grass
Falls on the round toes
Of the high shoes
Of the old friends.

Old friends,
Winter companions,
The old men
Lost in their overcoats,
Waiting for the sunset.
The sounds of the city,
Sifting through trees,
Settle like dust
On the shoulders
Of the old friends.

Can you imagine us
Years from today,
Sharing a park bench quietly?
How terribly strange
To be seventy.
Old friends,
Memory brushes the same years
Silently sharing the same fears

A mirror seems like a good place to start…

Not all Southerners are Republican. Not all Republicans are idealogues. Not everyone in the US speaks English. America’s diversity cries out for tolerance and sensitivity. We come to this destination with our own unique baggage packed full of both good and bad experiences. Don’t assume I agree with you because I haven’t verbalized my opinions. I may have opposing views on a number of issues. Thankfully most once prejudiced ideas about the superiority of one gender over another, or one race over another, or one religion over another have nearly faded away. Yet we still have to overcome some lingering biases that keep us morally fractured, and relegate them to the history books where we can analyze how far we have come and how far we still have to go.

The song "Man in the Mirror" was composed by Siedah Garrett and Glen Ballard and sung by Michael Jackson. The refrain below makes a point that healing requires us to see ourselves realistically with our baggage exposed. There is no way we can see through the eyes of another, so we need to look in the only direction where we can truly change ourselves…

I'm Starting With The Man InThe Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place

Insanity is…

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
– Albert Einstein, (attributed)

Hey, if it’s good enough for Einstein, who am I to argue with his definition of insanity. For the purists, insanity is mainly a legal term: “Unsoundness of mind sufficient in the judgment of a civil court to render a person unfit to maintain a contractual or other legal relationship or to warrant commitment to a mental health facility.” I’ll leave that definition where it is, in the purview of attorneys and judges.

But the gist of my discourse today is with the Einstein version. 1. If you had been looking for a job for a year, and hadn’t received any offers, wouldn’t you do something differently? Maybe you would try to improve your resume, consider if you were dressed appropriately for the interviews, scrutinize how your qualifications match the job description, etc. 2. If you put your home up for sale and haven’t sold it in over a year, you might check comps in the area and lower your price, or update the paint or floors or appliances. 3. If you were unhappy day after day, you might consider an appointment with a counselor to find out the source of your distress. Sounds logical. Doing something different, expecting different results.

Simply put if something is broken, FIX IT! Some repairs ARE costly and take a long time. Some are DESIGNED to be costly and take a long time. An example I love is when California experienced the January 17, 1994 Northridge Earthquake –magnitude 6.8 - which damaged 4 major freeways in the LA area: I-5, I-10, SR 14, & SR 118. The I-10 was repaired and re-opened on April 11, 1994, 84 days after the earthquake and 66 days ahead of schedule. Normally this freeway would have had delays and cost overruns and who knows when the repairs would have been finished if California had done business the same old way. Instead, the normal state contracting procedures were suspended and CALTRANS hired contractors to demolish the damaged freeways and issued contracts with “ahead of schedule” bonuses as incentives to speed up the process. It worked! The final bonus total was $20 million but within about 5 months most major freeway sections were repaired and traffic was flowing normally again. Business was back in business and it was a win-win for all Californians. Unfortunately, the state has returned to business-as-usual and the lesson has been lost. Insanity, recovery, return to insanity.

Since 1970 our Federal government has bailed out savings and loans, Chrysler, New York City, Lockheed, Penn Central RR, several Airlines, and more. How much did it help, and how many more times will we do this, expecting different outcomes? Insanity? Fast forward to 2009 and the recent Wall Street bank bailouts. We did it again!!! Insanity!!!

Now we are closer than we have ever been before to getting healthcare reform. Because of corporate welfare and bailouts, we may not be able to get anything done because of the debt load, possibly for another 40 years. The same conservative mindset that would rather give tax breaks (counting on trickle-down which has not worked except in the mind of Ronald W. Reagan) rather than building a sustainable health care system to benefit us all and bolster our competitive edge in world business, are still moaning the same mantra. What is truly insane is the number of people who continue to believe that one day this conservative plan might work and we will all have affordable, quality healthcare. If it hasn’t happened in the past 40 years, how much longer are the conservatives willing to make everyone wait? When will they wake up to the reality that they are digging all our economic graves? Insanity.

I have been a political independent most of my life. I voted for Ronald Reagan, George HW Bush, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry, and Barack Obama. I saw the writing on the wall in big bold letters back in the 80s. Wake up America and get off your rigid ideologue butts. Don’t continue believing the same old dogma dished up with the same-ole-politics-as-usual, manufactured scare tactics. Even Harry and Louise have gotten the message this time.

Congressional Freak Show

Human Chimera Prohibition Act

Once again the conservative right wing-dings have wasted precious time and resources on legislation (this is so scary) to prevent US researchers from developing embryos that use both human and animal material. In other words to prevent the blending of species so we won’t see Satyrs, Griphons, Mermaids, Fauns, Minotaurs, Centaurs, etc. Kinda sounds like some one passed around a copy of "The Island of Dr. Moreau," the 1896 novel by H.G. Wells and they thought it was non-fiction.

"What was once only science fiction is now becoming a reality, and we need to ensure that experimentation and subsequent ramifications do not outpace ethical discussion and societal decisions," Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) said last year when he introduced similar legislation. "History does not look kindly on those who violate the dignity of the human person."

Great Britain IS experimenting with hybrids now. We will also have to watch the Far Eastern countries and Canada to see what develops as they also have approved hybrid research. So I will have to keep watching to see if these researchers are finding cures for diseases or creating hybrid armies to take over the world.

One big question is what constitutes a human hybrid? If I have a pig’s heart valve transplanted into my heart, am I then a hybrid? If we infect a mouse with a human blood borne pathogen to try and find a cure, should that mouse be considered a hybrid and the experiment outlawed? And if a human embryo is actually fertilized by a monkey, gestates, and is born, would destroying the animal/human be considered murder, genocide, or euthanasia? How likely is it that science could actually create another species by blending together their DNA? Hey, maybe some hanky panky took place millions of years ago between two species that actually could produce offspring and voila, that hybrid is now called a human. The possibilities are endless………….

There are 19 Republicans and one Democrat (Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana) who have sponsored the bill. I lived in Louisiana when I was a Senior in High School. Our house backed up to a bayou. Most of what I observed coming from the swamp was snakes…although they might have had legs…and wait a minute, I remember hearing a faint voice calling help meeeeeeee.

On Oxymorons and Morons…

One definition of an oxymoron is: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words like jumbo shrimp, government intelligence, deafening silence, shabby chic, accidentally on purpose, smart bomb, etc. So to expand on the contradictory or incongruous (oxymoronic) things we do in life…working for 30 or 40 years in order to retire and enjoy life for about 15 to 20 years when we’re older and very tired from working so freakin’ many years to get to retire. Wouldn’t it make more sense to work half a day and have half a day off to enjoy, all of your life? No more deferred pleasure. I also think it would be a special gift to mankind if someone would find a way to make great tasting food (cream filled doughnuts, French onion dip, mocha café frappes) that is actually good for you and you can eat all you want without gaining an ounce. Eating without guilt. But I digress…

One definition of moronic is: being notably stupid or lacking in good judgment. The most moronic thing my husband and I have done in the past 15 years is to buy large expensive homes to have lots of room for visitors to visit. The first two homes we owned had 2300 SF in the Greater Atlanta area and 3000 SF at Lake Lanier resort area. We lived in those two homes for at total of nine years and had 5 visits. There were myriad things to do in downtown Atlanta and at the lake. Then we moved to Los Angeles and had 2 visits in the first 1.5 years. There were myriad things to do in LA and surrounding area. Of course we were living in an 800 SF duplex with one bathroom and the visitors had to sleep on the sofa bed. Then we moved out to the Mojave Desert where we bought a 1400 SF home and had only one visit in 3.5 years. (OK so not so much to do in the desert.) Anyway, the moral of my rambling tale is, don’t be a moron and buy a larger house and expect to have lots of visitors. Move into a smaller space and they will come! Our current home is about 1900 SF but is located in an out-of-the-way, small southeastern town near a recreational reservoir. We have one spare BR with a guest bath. We have been here almost 3 years and have had 4 visits. This could be the home that breaks the curse! Just large enough AND just small enough. Yaaaaaaaaaaay! Who knew?

TW3

TW3 (That Was The Week That Was)
Acknowledgement to BBC and David Frost’s British Satirical Review from the 60s

*Iraqi cities were free of US troops (now we need to get out of the country)
*Sara Palin resigned her position of Governor of Alaska (run Sara, run)
*VP Biden says the Obama administration misread the depth of this recession
(we could have told them that)
*Stocks are in freefall (duh)
*N Korea keeps firing missiles (maybe they will use them all up)
*Madoff gets 150 years at hard labor (not really long enough?)
*Unemployment hasn’t been this high since the 80s (how high will it go?)
*Al Frankin finally is declared winner of MN senate race (#60)
*Statue of Liberty reopens for the first time since 911
(I was up in the crown back in the 90s after Lee Iacoca and crew
had rehabed the deteriorating statue with donated funds,
what a view, what a climb!)
*And once again MS takes first prize for fattest state in US (I’m going on a diet now!!)
Two passings in one day just before this TW3. Makes me remember that we are all mortal.
*Michael Jackson died (RIP Michael, I still have my original Thriller Album in vinyl of course)
*Farrah Fawcett died (she was in my sculpture class at UT, RIP Farrah)

I’m sure there’s lots more, but this has been a really busy week with just the few events cited above. Current late nite comedians are relishing the fresh material (and I can’t wait to see what David Letterman makes out of Sara’s latest stunt). I know David Frost would have been pleased to put a British spin on this week if he still had his TW3 show. If you have never seen TW3, it is worth a look-see. The comedic perspective from GB was always my reason for not taking anything too seriously, even my own mortality.

The Visitor...

I live in a small boring southeastern town. I moved here because it is affordable, safe, and quiet. If I want excitement, I visit an exciting place or places. I have lived in many large and exciting cities like Atlanta, Los Angeles, Houston, Austin, St. Louis, etc. So EXCITING has become rather boring for me. Like Nilsson’s pointless forest in “The Point”, too many points makes it “pointless”. And too much excitement can make everything else boring. The people here are all pretty much the same and that means stability…and a type of exquisite boredom. We have a 15 year old relative staying with us from a much bigger and more exciting city. She is bored stiff!!! We are trying to make her stay with us more exciting but it is almost impossible. And at age 15, she does not have the maturity to be creative or to even be nice about being bored. I used to live on a farm with my grandparents way out in the country, before cell phones, before iPods, before FM radio, before cable TV. Can you imagine just how bored she would have been then? I admit, I’m not used to being around teenagers. There seem to be so many more things (physically and mentally) going on with teens now that I am at a loss to fully understand. Without mechanical entertainment, I had to make my own entertainment out of whatever was handy. I read a lot. I planned what I wanted to be when I grew up. I was depressed at times and when I was in college, I was depressed for a really long time. There was no psychologist to turn to then. (I'm glad the resources are available now because I sure could have used some help back then.) I am also taking into account that my guest comes from a very dysfunctional background. I know, I know…every family unit is dysfunctional in some way, but her family situation is really different. Understanding and sympathy is all I can offer. I cannot change it for her. She will have to develop her own coping skills like I did in my dysfunctional family unit when I was her age. She is counting the days until she goes back home. So am I.

The BIG C...

So… I try not to talk too much about my breast cancer and losing a body part to an insidious disease that could have killed me. I was very lucky that it was caught before it spread, and that I did NOT have to go through hair destroying, puke your guts out, chemo. So far, the worst thing about this is not being able to wear clothes that are meant to show cleavage. Now I have only one cleave. It doesn’t make me list to one side, but the fake boob I have to wear is heavy and has to be adjusted occasionally so I don’t look lopsided. (I don’t wear it too often ‘cause it’s really hot and uncomfortable.) Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, I was thinking about what I might have missed if I had died from this. (BTW - I don’t mind dying, but I do mind “dying badly”. All that drama! Yuck!) I also didn’t care to have one of those Eureka or A’HA moments. You know, the instant you realize the trajectory of your life has been interrupted in a huge way by something you cannot control. I wanted to continue with the plan my husband and I formulated several years ago. The plan was this: I would work till I was old enough to retire and my husband and I could then move to Central America or some other exotic destination where we would enjoy doing something other than shop and drink and eat. We both love El Salvador, its people, the scenery, climate, etc. This nasty little medical interruption would just have to be figured in to our plan. It would need to be altered by an additional five years. That’s the amount of time my doctors say I need to be free of the nasty little buggers before I could be declared cancer free! Anyway, I was sitting alone one evening after my first A’HA moment, having my private little pity party (which I hate but it gives me a format in which I can explore my true emotional state). I wondered, why am I thinking about this crazy stuff? What about the plans I so carefully crafted for my future, my retirement? I realized my timetable now was beginning to feel like a benign trap. “What ifs” began creeping in. What if it (my cancer) comes back, what if I get hit by a bus, what if I win a million dollars, what if nothing good or bad happens at all? I remembered a poem by Richard Lovelace called To Althea from Prison. A famous line near the end goes, “Stone walls do not a prison make, Nor iron bars a cage;…” He was talking about love. But I always take things out of context to suit my mood. So now the poem could also illustrate the cage my thoughts were creating for me. Stone and iron thoughts, keeping me stuck in an extended plan. What to do??? Soon I got it!!! Another Eureka! If I had never had to deal with any of this, I would have gone on with my life and my plan. So the only thing that has changed (for now) is the 5 years added onto the plan. I could get hit by a bus, or not. Until I know for sure that my days are numbered (and possibly how many days I have left), why should I give up on my plan? I once heard this pearl… “If you know your future, you don’t have one.” I really don’t know what will happen, I can only stress and worry about the unknown. What a waste of time! Now, I am reasonably sure I can look forward to my retirement in another 3 years. That gives me 3 years to research our relocation to Central America or someplace else we might like better. I have 3 years to save more money and get rid of the junk I don’t need. What a relief. I’ll still have those days when my brain will do that little dance, and my heart will leap out of my chest when I think about my future. Bringing my brain and my heart back into rhythm so I can move forward shouldn’t take too long if I remember that life is a crapshoot and I’m a moving target.

Health care reform is scary if they get it wrong...

McCain wanted to tax health care benefits. That's insane, McCain. One of the myriad reasons (other than Sara Palin's being a heartbeat away from the presidency) that I did not vote for the Republican ticket. Now that scenario is back on the table. We need to make it MORE affordable, not LESS affordable. If I am taxed on my health care benefits at the absurd cost they have risen to today, I will take home a lot less than I have been living on. That kind of reform is not reform. What else do I cut out of my existence? I need to pay less than the almost $6,000 per year in medical premiums and other medical costs that I pay now. The powers that be ARE NOT LISTENING to the Nurses Union, doctors, and others who advocate a single-payer system. And there are those who are trying to scare the bejesus out of us again about how health care as we know it now will cease to exist. I certainly hope it ceases to exist in it's present expensive, elitist state. Health care now is outrageously expensive, inadequate for the uninsured, a drain on our small businesses, and unfair when insurance companies decide whether they want to pay, or not, for life and death procedures. Of course, the pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies, and anyone else at the table who is against logical, reasonable, sane reform, will definitely lobby the congress and if we are lucky nothing will change for the worse and real reform will just be deferred for another 30 years. If we are unlucky, the changes will be good for the medical community and MORE expensive for us. If you are young, you might think you don't really want to get involved in this discussion. If you have children you are probably mildly interested in listening to the debate. If you are close to retirement, you will soon be on Medicare and these points, you think, will be moot for you. But if you are looking at another ten years before you can retire, this may be really important. In ten years you could be working for another GM or AIG or some company that downsizes your job. The first to go are usually the older employees. After you have used up all your savings putting your children through college, and your 401K is just a piece of paper, you have been laid-off and used up all your severance pay, the spectre of having a catastrophic illness without having insurance may keep you awake at night. If your children think they are out of this loop, think again. Who is going to take care of Mom and Dad when they are sick and have no money? And remember, if it can happen to Mom and Dad today, it could happen to your children in about 20 years when they are looking toward their retirement. History has a way of repeating itself because we weren't listening the first time. Real, meaningful reform with an eye to the future seems to take a backseat when health care is treated only as a business. Care is part of health care. There are smaller, poorer countries on this planet that provide basic health care for their citizens. If we can keep sending rockets and rovers to Mars, we can provide basic health care for our people. As Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try." It's that simple.

Everybody is doing it, doing it...

Ok, so everybody I know is blogging. I respond to their blogs. I guess it's my turn to start a dialogue. Maybe I'll meet some new friends with new ideas. Or maybe I'll get some feedback on my ideas. Anyway, if you have any information on living in Central America as an American ExPat, I'd love to hear from you and what your experiences have been, both positive and negative. I know lots of people who are moving to Belize, El Salvador, Pamana, Costa Rica, etc. Well, that's it for this posting.