A Milestone…

This month I’ll be celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary… and they said it wouldn’t last. It almost didn’t! But just about every marriage hits some major snag. Mostly we made it through the ‘I want a divorce’ scene with humor. I asked for a divorce and my partner said NO. I was being so angry and serious, and ‘NO’ broke me up.

It occurs to me that my partner usually wants to hold it together more than I do. There is a comfort zone in that for me. The knowledge that leaving IS an option and that I can leverage that option to my advantage allows me to be content in my marriage. I don’t have to keep score. I just remind myself that I can leave anytime I wish. Of course, after 25 years, I’d be hard pressed to find someone else who would humor me at my age and temperament, not that I’d want to do the marriage thing again, ever.

I love my partner. Being ‘in love’ is for those lucky enough to have found their soul mate. Not all of us are lucky enough to be married to our soul mates. Sometimes the knowledge that I am loved is enough. I have been loved and have loved several times in my life. They were intense, passionate relationships and might not have made good marriages. We don’t always get what we want, but we get what we need.

So my partner and I will take a day trip to New Orleans, eat breakfast at Café Du Monde, lunch at The Court of Two Sisters, and see if we can do a “disaster viewing trip” into the 9th Ward. (I have heard they are rebuilding some very expensive homes in the levee flood zone. How weird is that?) We will probably argue about something, but we will find pleasure at just being able to be in Post Katrina New Orleans together. If there is anything interesting to photograph, I’ll post pics after we return.